Why do I write? Stories are how I understand the world. They are how I answer questions about meaning and why? Im going to send it out into the world as a way to say, well what do you think about this? You, too? So I guess it’s my way of asking and exploring a question and then starting a conversation.
My dystopian novel is a good example of this. In the world building, I'm touching on a lot of topics that are relevant to what we are going through today. Although I'm going to do my best to represent those who should be represented positively in the best way that I can and that I will address triggering content in the best way that I can, I won't be perfect. I hope that no one expects me to be. I will do my due diligence, but I'm afraid that it won't be enough.
I know that the poor little rich girl is a completely overdone trope, and it makes me nervous that this is what I'm using in my story. But it's the story that I'm telling. I'm telling the story of those in power from an inside out from the perspective of someone who is treated like an outsider for reasons that should become clear through the series.
That's not the only thing that I'm nervous about. My world building is based more on questions than on any answers that I have. I'm a middled aged woman. At one point in my life, I thought I had things figured out. I thought that I knew how things were and should be. That was back in the 1990s, when we thought that sexism and racism and all of the -isms were on the decline. I was wrong. When I first started this project back 25 years ago, that's where I was. I was in the glow of that naiveté not only from being in my 20s but also because that was the times. I have since learned that I don't know anything and that unless I'm in a constant state of discomfort that I've probably gone complacent. I'm nervous that the story will come across as something other than an invitation for a conversation.
And that's what it is really coming down to. My story will be imperfect in its creation. I don't have any answers. I have only questions. It is my invitation to a conversation, not an exposition of what I think, if that makes sense.